Bob was in
trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed.
She told him ,"Tomorrow
morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6
seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"
The next morning
he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the
window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the
driveway.
Confused, the
wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the
house.
She opened it
and found a brand new bathroom scale.
Bob has been missing since Friday.
One day a hippie
gets a ride on a public bus and sees a hot young nun. He sits down next to her
and promptly asks if she would like to have sex, to which she immediately says
no and walks off the bus. The bus driver leans over and says "Hey guy I
know how to get that nun to have sex with you..."
Naturally the
hippie asks, and the bus driver tells him that every night at midnight the nun
goes to an old graveyard to pray for God to forgive her for her past, and that
he should dress up like God and tell the nun she will be forgiven if she has
sex with you.
The hippie gives
his thanks and runs to the nearest costume shop.
Later that
evening the hippie gets ready for his big night and drives down to the
graveyard and sees the nun praying, on her knees. He says "Behold, I have
heard your prayers and you shall be forgiven if you have sex with me!"
The nun agrees
but asks if they can have anal sex in order to keep her virginity. The hippie
agrees and once they are finished the hippie jumps back and pulls off his mask
and says "Surprise, its me the Hippie!"
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